I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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