Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
