The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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