Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
