Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
