I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize