We're facebook friends in real life
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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