I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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