Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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