For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
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