What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
