I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
