We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
