can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
