going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize