do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
