NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
