i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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