You really coming over, don't trick.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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