i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
