Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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