Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
