I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
