we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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