he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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