I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize