I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
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