i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
