I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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