I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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