Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
