she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
