If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
