Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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