I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
