no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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