I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
