I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
