Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I am midnight drunk by noon
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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