I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
