They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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