I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize