good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
