ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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