Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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