I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
