I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
