love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
