Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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