On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
lol hangovers are for mortals.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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