she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
