she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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