I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Two words: blizzard sex
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
