just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
