I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
