i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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