he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
