let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
