I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
