told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
