so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
