party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
