We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
