he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
