last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
it's like heaven, but drunker
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize