I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
