I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
